A poem every nurse practitioner, nurse, doctor, OB/GYN should watch to understand what happens when one does not listen to the survivor of Military Sexual Trauma.
I took the Nia White Belt in July 2015 with an amazing trainer, Kate Finlayson. That was an awesome experience! By doing the White Belt, I developed a relationship with my body. I realized that I do not need to be ashamed of my body and can love my body. I learned where I hold my feelings and memories, and instead of criticizing and hating those parts of me, I began to accept and love those parts of me. Kate taught me to be present, to talk to my body, listen to my body and be loving to my body. I learned that I can dance and trust myself and embody the 52 moves of Nia. She taught me to listen to the music. I am all about the base, and I love music that has drums. I am coming back home to myself.
After this amazing White Belt, Kate recommended that I do Reiki with Haven Carter. I was coming home into my body, experiencing pain in my right knee and left ankle were I held trauma memories. By doing Reiki, I was able to release energy, feelings and continued to process what I was feeling. I allowed myself to feel and permitted the tears to come out. At times, when I was laying on the table, I shook when I got scared. Haven told me that I was safe and that it was my body doing what it needed to do to let go of the energy of all of the traumas. Also, she told me that I was safe with her, that she had me and that I could be real with her. There were a few times when tears just started streaming from my eyes and Haven just held me. Also, there was two times after Reiki when I got into my car and threw up. The Reiki was working on all of the traumas I have been through causing a physical reaction. Sexual abuse is held in the body as I learned repeatedly from taking doing Nia white belt and Reiki Jin Kei Do.
A collection of inspirational, empowering poetry written over the course of three years as Julie went on a healing journey to heal from multiple sexual assaults and Post Traumatic Stress. She learned that creating space for deep healing starts with taking some deep breaths to be present in the body. She learned that her body is her home and that her body is safe to come back to. Also, she learned how to love herself again. This is a powerful book that invites you on a healing journey. It is meant for every single person who is healing from something. It’s meant to be a guide for every psychologist, psychiatrists, doctor, nurse, social worker, professor, counselor to use to understand the effects of child sexual abuse, university rape, military sexual trauma, depression, and Post Traumatic Stress.
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I am fighting a battle inside of myself,
My enemy is Post Traumatic Stress,
My strength comes from myself,
Memories of what happened to me replays over
And over again.
There are flashbacks,
There are nightmares,
There are triggers,
The pain is so real and I cannot stop the pain.
I cannot stop the flashbacks.
I cannot stop the nightmares.
I cannot stop the grief.
I cannot stop the rage.
I show a brave face to the world but on
The inside I am crying.
Mother Earth is helping me to heal my heart
That was broken into thousands of pieces,
There are many days when I feel like I am broken,
I am determined to win this battle and to heal my heart.
I will not let triggers, flashbacks, nightmares control my emotions.
I will not let those tried to destroy me win this war.
I have awakened and I will find peace with myself.
I will love myself and forgive myself for past harms
I will love my body.
I will continue to grow spirituality.
I will continue to be mindful and meditate.
I will continue to speak my truth and continue to heal.
I will reach out to fellow Peaceful Warriors and
Help them to heal to.
I am Peaceful Warrior.