What is Courage

 

Courage is being afraid but doing it any ways.

Courage is showing up and suiting up every day

Courage is having the ability to speak up when things are wrong.

Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak.

Courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.

Courage starts with showing up and allowing ourselves to be seen.

Courage is being able to reach out and ask for help.

Courage does not mean that you are  not afraid.

Courage is when you are willing to be vulnerable and allow

Your real feelings to come out

Courage is when you are terrified to tell your story but realize

you need to tell your story and by sharing your story

it will help others to heal.

Courage is not the absence of fear, but the judgement

That something else is more important than fear.

Courage is the first quality of a Warrior.

Courage means that fear does not stop you.

Courage is protecting those that you care about.

Courage is being able to inspire others.

Courage is the commitment to go on.

Courage is facing the pain that is deep inside

Courage is taking a stand against things that are wrong

Courage is does not roar sometimes courage is having the

Ability to say that I will try again tomorrow.

Courage is doing the best you can do for today.

Courage is reaching out a hand to help others

Courage is following your heart and intuition.

Courage is the magic that makes dreams become a reality.

Courage is when you are willing to take steps to take care of yourself.

Courage is when you are able to show your tears.

 

Self Care

As I have continued on my healing journey, one thing that I have had to learn is self care. I used to believe that I was not worthy of self care since I saw myself as dirty, worthless and useless.  Once that view of myself changed, I started making little changes to take better care of myself. Self care first started by drinking more water. Then that expanded to getting a massage. My self-esteem started coming back.  I started going to therapy where I learned and accepted that I was a worth while human being that deserved to be loved by myself. Soon I was getting massages two times a month, using essential oils to help myself calm down and started to realize that I could have self-compassion.

The next step I took in self care was finding my way to Nia and taking white belt. This is where I learned to love my body and life. My trainer suggested I go to see her friend who did Reiki Jin Kei Do. I did what she suggested and made an appointment. Through Reiki, I learned that I can connect to my body more and more. My energy level became higher and more self care started. Next thing, I know I am eating better, spending time in nature, dancing, being with friends, listening to music, choreographing dance routines,  using essential oils, candles, healing stones, crystal singing bowls, take espom salt baths, meditation, earthing, massages, counseling and  getting acupuncture treatments. I had to teach myself that I could love myself again and now I practice self care every day.

Climbing Mountain

 

There is a huge mountain in front of me,

I start climbing it,

The mountain in front of me seems gigantic and impossible to climb,

I start climbing the mountain in front of me,

I find a place to grip,

Digg my fingers into the rock,

Find a place to put my feet so that I can climb higher and higher,

At times feel like I am going to fall off the mountain,

At times, this task feels impossible since there is so much pain inside,

so many emotions,

body sensations,

flashbacks

nightmares

At times all I can do is cry,

Scream,

tear things apart,

sleep,

It’s taking everything I have to climb this mountain,

It’s taking so much to face all of the demons inside of me,

It taking so much to heal from so much trauma,

The mountain before me seems impossible to climb,

There are other people higher on the mountain that reach out their hand to me

I grab their hand and know that I do not have to do this allow,

When I feel like quitting they tell me I can’t,

They tell me that they are there for me,

Do not give up,

It’s okay to feel your feelings,

It’s okay to allow the tears to come out,

It’s okay to be enraged,

It’s okay to rest,

Remember to do self-care,

I know you are feeling so much pain,

It’s okay to say, I am exhausted,

Be there for me and allow another to hold you on this journey of healing,

I listen to them and allow them to be there for me,

The tears coming from my eyes like waterfalls cleansing my pain and soul,

I will get through this.

It’s one day a time,

Sometimes one minute at a time,

Sometime one second at a time,

Know that you are loved,

That you are not allow,

You can lean on me,

You can call me anytime,

I am there and I will listen to what you have to say,

I believe you,

I support you,

I am a Warrior,

I am strong.

It’s going to be alright.

I will get to the top.

I will be free .

 

Heart Chakra

 

Settling into Reiki slumber,

I begin to breathe deeply,

I sense my spirit guides and teachers all around me,

They surrounding me in healing white light,

That touches very part of my being,

Breathing in deeper into my lungs,

I begin to connect to my heart center,

I become aware of the compassion they have for

me and realize they are there for me,

They want me to have compassion for myself,

They want me to feel my feelings,

To allow the tears to come out,

Breathing out I parts of my body are shaking,

My teachers and spirit guides tell me that I am safe,

I am releasing trauma, grief, anger, body memories, tears

And feeling connected to myself and heart center for the first time,

Breathe deeply again to sense the white healing light surrounding me,

I feel all of the love, compassion, empathy and support,

I begin to let go of past betrayals, hurts,

forgive myself and others,

I am connecting to my Divine spirit,

Raising my energy level, and realizing

That I am a healer.