Discovering Who I Am

My past does not define who I am,

It has changed me but what has happened

in my past does not define me.

It is has made me who I am today

And lead me on a path to become a

Warrior.

A Warrior that is taking her life back

And finding her way back to herself.

I am reinventing who I am

I am compassionate, loving, understanding,

Caring, a good listener, can read people

And am there for others to show them the

Way back to themselves.

It is a one day at a time process

I am not defined by what they took away

From me.

Instead I am becoming more powerful

Coming home to my body

Able to feel,

Taking care of myself,

Reaching a hand out for help

And helping others

I am transforming and starting to

Live the life that I have wanted to live.

I am a peaceful Warrior that is finding

Her way home to herself.

Mother Earth

 

Mother Earth, you are the place that I call home

Mother Earth, you have given me birth,

You are the ground I walk on

The air I breathe,

The water I drink,

The food I eat,

The place where I live,

The clothes I wear,

The beauty I see.

You have provided me  with everything I need,

Mother Earth, you have been there for me

On my healing journey,

You have taught me how to accept myself,

You have taught me how to feel my feelings,

You have taught me how to sink my roots,

You have taught me how to breathe,

You have taught me how to meditate.

You have taught me how  to look for the beauty

in every living thing.

You have taught me how to be loving of myself

and all living things,

Along this path of healing  you have me sent

angels, guides, and put people in my life to help me.

You have shown me that I can connect to

Something bigger then me by being in nature.

You have shown me  the beauty in life.

You have been there in my grief.

You hold me each and every day.

Thank you Mother Earth

 for being there.

What is a Warrior

A warrior is a human being who accepts

the call and walks the long, arduous path

of reaching one’s full potential.

A Warrior speaks their truth.

A Warrior goes into darkness and light.

A Warrior is someone that has honor,

courage. commitment & integrity

A Warrior goes into the abyss of truth.

A Warrior lives in faith.

A Warrior knows that she is creation,

that essence created her, that

she is spirit made manifested.

A Warrior heals and expands the tenderness of her heart.

A Warrior deals with loneliness, even though there never alone.

A Warrior aligns to virtues, values, purpose, not other human beings.

A Warrior is totally exposed.

A Warrior loves and lives in paradoxes, chaos, and conflict

A Warrior knows that each human being

is a mystery, is the end, never the mean

A Warrior is a human being who questions

all authority and all conventional

wisdom that is spoken in the course of her life.

A Warrior lives in risk.

A Warrior lives in uncertainty and a

warrior lives in the mystery of what is.

A Warrior knows that there is nothing

more important than each human beings experience of joy.

A warrior knows there short-comings makes

peace with her humanness, accepts and learns from her

failures, and begs for forgiveness of those

the Warrior as pained, wronged or let down.

A Warrior is someone that will not leave

other warriors behind. If the Warrior is hurt the Warrior will

carry them.

 If the Warrior cannot carry the Warrior will dang them.

A Warrior will help them to face their

enemies, to include the demons from within.

A Warrior is a human being who understands

and explores all worldviews, all religions, all cultures, all

histories, and all legacies of WISDOM to

understand fully what it is to be a human being.

A Warrior know what to contribute.

A Warrior leaves generations to come strong,

universal, and life-affirming foundations.

A Warrior is someone who explores the

inner world and the external world, integrating both.

A Warrior is someone who focuses on “what” they are as a human being.

A Warrior is someone who loves fully as possible.

A Warrior is someone who understands

there needs and is fearless in telling others that they are at risk

of being vulnerable.

A Warrior knows when to let the silence speak.

A Warrior is fearless in living.

A Warrior knows their gifts and develops them throughout their life.

A Warrior knows suffering.

A Warrior is not afraid of suffering but expects it.

A Warrior learns from suffering.

A Warrior learns to find joy in both suffering and bliss.

A Warrior knows love as both intimacy and rapture.

 

What is Power

Power is found in choice.

Power is found in joy.

Power is found strength.

Power is found in loving yourself and others.

Power is found in compassion for oneself and others.

Power is found in being with community and power with.

Power is allowing yourself to observe without reacting.

Power is allowing your authentic self to be seen.

Power is in the ability to come back into your body.

Power is found in breathing deeply and being rooted.

Power is found is sharing what one senses.

Power is found in laughter.

Power is found in truly believing in oneself.

Power is being able to tell your truth even when your voice is shaking.

Power is found in being able to truly be

there for another to listen to what he or she has to say.

Power is found in feeling to heal.

Power is found in releasing emotions.

Power is drawing the line and saying enough is enough.

Power is taking a stand against what is right and wrong.

Power is advocating to make a change in this world.

Power is advocating for those that have not found their voice yet.

Power is the ability to choose to help others.

Power is saying this is not how my story is going to end.

Power is using one’s past to transform into what you what to be.

What is Courage

 

Courage is being afraid but doing it any ways.

Courage is showing up and suiting up every day

Courage is having the ability to speak up when things are wrong.

Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak.

Courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.

Courage starts with showing up and allowing ourselves to be seen.

Courage is being able to reach out and ask for help.

Courage does not mean that you are  not afraid.

Courage is when you are willing to be vulnerable and allow

Your real feelings to come out

Courage is when you are terrified to tell your story but realize

you need to tell your story and by sharing your story

it will help others to heal.

Courage is not the absence of fear, but the judgement

That something else is more important than fear.

Courage is the first quality of a Warrior.

Courage means that fear does not stop you.

Courage is protecting those that you care about.

Courage is being able to inspire others.

Courage is the commitment to go on.

Courage is facing the pain that is deep inside

Courage is taking a stand against things that are wrong

Courage is does not roar sometimes courage is having the

Ability to say that I will try again tomorrow.

Courage is doing the best you can do for today.

Courage is reaching out a hand to help others

Courage is following your heart and intuition.

Courage is the magic that makes dreams become a reality.

Courage is when you are willing to take steps to take care of yourself.

Courage is when you are able to show your tears.

 

What is being Brave

One of my friends looked at me

And told me, “When are you going to know that

You are brave? You are facing the demons that

Are deep inside of you. You have shared your

Truth with the world. You have advocated for

Others. That is being brave. Now the best thing, you

Can do is to look in the mirror and

say I love you. Also, to let go of the pain

you are feeling, start to love yourself, let

the tears come out and love yourself. You need to realize

how brave you are. You are valuable to the people

you know. When are you going to start to believe it yourself?

Heal your heart one day at a time, one tear

at a time, and one moment at a time.

It’s okay to be real with yourself and honest about

What you are really feeling deep inside. Let yourself

Feel it.”

Being brave is facing the demons and healing yourself.

Being brave is allowing yourself to truly love yourself.

Being brave is knowing that your worth comes from within yourself.

 

Nia White Belt

On a journey to come back into my body

and love my body after being detached and

dissociated fora long time by taking Nia white belt and dancing,
Learning that it is safe to be in my body
To stay in my body
To feel different parts of my body,
Learning that I can love my body,
That I can stay present in my body and
That I am safe.

Sitting on the floor,
My knees are hurting so badly,
My ankle is hurting so badly,
My lower back is hurting,
Because I am coming back into my body,
and my body has held the all of the traumas there,

It’s not that I am pushing myself,
It’s that my body is responding by bringing the trauma  pain to the surface,
Sometimes I cried during white belt,
Sometimes I start to cry when I am in my car alone.

I  use Arnica Montana gel to calm my body down,
Massage my knee and ankle,
Massage my lower back,
Talk to my body telling my body that we are okay, that I am safe
That this is healing
That it is safe to come  back into my body
That I am in a safe place and supported
That it is okay to feel whatever I need to feel
That I am listening to what my body is telling me
That I love my body
That I am here to protect myself

I understand where the pain is coming from
and I will address that by talking with therapist
Dance is good for me
My body has held all of the trauma’s inside and now is the time to take

even better care of myself.

Take Epsom salt baths,
Go to Reiki,
See therapist,
Stay in the level of movement that I need for that dance
Finding joy of movement
Letting the tears come

I love my body.
I am safe.
I can heal myself with self-love and touch.
I am a warrior goddess
I will take care of my,body and myself.

 

Nia Blue Belt

A slow dive into the depths of the ocean,

Dove deep inside of myself to learn about myself,

Learned how to have a relationship with the music, class and myself.

Learned how to communicate what  was feeling honestly

with another person.

Learned to be intimate with the 52 moves of Nia,

Class and myself.

Dove a little bit deeper into my mind and uncovered the

 truth about me

Allowed myself to feel, expressed what

 I was feeling,

Allowed the tears to come out

Allowed others to be there for me.

I went through a transformation at Blue Belt.

Learned that I feel the safest laying on the floor,

Learned to take care of myself,

Learned that doing my best varies from day to day,

Learned to love myself and to see the jewel that is inside.

Learned that I have a gift for finding music that

creates magic and healing.

Learned that I can be there for others and that I am a

wounded Healer.

Learned that it is my birth right to take up space.

It’s my birth right to feel what I feel

It’s my birthright to heal

and to help others to heal.

It’s my choice

I choose to live my life.

I choose to love myself.

I choose to help others to heal.

I choose to take a stand against what is right and wrong.

I choose to live in the present moment.

I am a blue Jewel.