Reiki Jin Kei Do: My Healing Journey

The Journey Back to Myself

I took the Nia White Belt in July 2015 with an amazing trainer, Kate Finlayson. That was an awesome experience! By doing the White Belt, I developed a relationship with my body. I realized that I do not need to be ashamed of my body and can love my body. I learned where I hold my feelings and memories, and instead of criticizing and hating those parts of me, I began to accept and love those parts of me. Kate taught me to be present, to talk to my body, listen to my body and be loving to my body. I learned that I can dance and trust myself and embody the 52 moves of Nia. She taught me to listen to the music. I am all about the base, and I love music that has drums. I am coming back home to myself.

After this amazing White Belt, Kate…

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Vagina

Vagina 
Before I ever got a chance to truly
know you and accept you,
You were ripped away from me,
I became terrified of you,
I dissociated from you and wanted nothing to do with you,
I learned to hate you over and over again,
as you were taken away from me many more times,
I learned that you were not part of my body
and that you did no belong to me,
As I continue on my healing journey,
I am learning just how sacred you are.
I am learning that you are not dirty,
That I do not need to be ashamed or fearful of you,
I am connecting to you and learning how sacred you are,
how magnificent you are,
I am breathing deep into you,
There is nothing that I need to be ashamed or fearful
of any more.
I am healing you,
I am showering you with love and
starting to accept my sexuality,
You are part of me,
You are sacred
We become one,
We become whole.

Vagina

Vagina 
Before I ever got a chance to truly
know you and accept you,
You were ripped away from me,
I became terrified of you,
I dissociated from you and wanted nothing to do with you,
I learned to hate you over and over again,
as you were taken away from me many more times,
I learned that you were not part of my body
and that you did no belong to me,
As I continue on my healing journey,
I am learning just how sacred you are.
I am learning that you are not dirty,
That I do not need to be ashamed or fearful of you,
I am connecting to you and learning how sacred you are,
how magnificent you are,
I am breathing deep into you,
There is nothing that I need to be ashamed or fearful
of any more.
I am healing you,
I am showering you with love and
starting to accept my sexuality,
You are part of me,
You are sacred
We become one,
We become whole.

Blooming Into A Powerful Woman

The Journey Back to Myself

I will never understand why six men choose to me

to violate and abuse me in the way they did,

Will never understand why nothing was done

to the sixteen-year-old who abused

me when I was eleven years old,

Will never understand why a police officer

blamed me for being raped and defended

two rapists at University of Cincinnati,

Will never understand why I was the one

that was blamed, shamed, emotionally abused,

retaliated against by chain of command,

Will never understand why I lost my career

for coming forward to report the crime that

was committed against me in the Navy

while rapist keeps his career and is promoted,

However, through all of this trauma,

I have broken free from there control,

I am no longer afraid,

I speak my truth,

I feel my feelings,

I have bloomed like the lotus flower,

Post traumatic growth has taken place,

Deep…

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Heart Warrior

The Journey Back to Myself

I have been through a lot of pain and suffering,

I have physical scars that can be seen,

I have emotional scars that cannot be seen,

Many tears have fell from my cheeks,

I have felt so much rage and grief,

However, I have picked myself up,

Fought the next battle,

And continue on my healing path.

I am an empowered heart Warrior that is standing strong,

I am a heart Warrior that is putting her life back together piece by piece,

I have compassion for every living being and compassion for myself.

I am loving and a Heart Warrior that shares

Her love with the world and those close to me

I am strong and victorious,

I shout my truth,

I feel my feelings,

I help others to know that they are also Heart Warriors.

I will never quit,

I will never surrender,

I will continue on this path…

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